St francis would be happy

So i started working at st francis homeless shelter a couple weeks ago. Its a day shelter which provides breakfast and dinner to roughly 500 people at both meals. Besides feeding the "guests" as we call the homeless peeps, st francis provides mental health care, clothes for interviews, and rehab programs. The motto is "homelessness is not an identity, its an experience."

I work in the kitchen mostly, so i cook, and serve food, and clean up crap, and basically get to BS with the guests, and the staff all day. A lot of the staff are paid (alot of them came up through the work programs at st francis) but the majority are volunteers. Within the volunteer staff most are there to either fulfill a college requirment, or because community service was court ordered...yup were a first rate staff. Also there are two mormons, who are on their mission...if u dont know what that is, look it up its pretty interesting stuff...they tell me that a certain Mr. smith was telling the truth, but i think ill just stick with jesus...he seems pretty legit.

Anyways, i was working there the other day, and a "guest" was eating in the cafeteria, and made fart noises. i ignored him, as did the other guests...then he did it again, and pointed to the guy next to him. this got some laughs from me and others as well. the he said this "ya know when you got nothing, u either gotta laugh or cry...i think im gunna laugh. You guys say this is just an experience right? temporary right? yea, i think im gunna laugh about it, thats all i can do."

I don't like that people have only two options, either cry...or laugh...but i commend him for laughing, because u can be damn sure that my christian ass would be crying if i was homeless. wasn't jesus homeless? hmmm...

Out of the girls bathroom, and off to target

I walked into the girls bathroom....twice this week, and it happened to be the same girls room both times. Both times, i strolled in like i was in the mens room and was met but an unsuspecting female. The first time, i said whoops she laughed and i turned around quickly. the next time was not so quick. i walked in, saw a girl doing her hair, and stared at her because i was certain she was the one in the wrong bathroom. she stared back. i looked around and in the absence of a urinal, i realized i had done it again. i said "damnit! not again," which probaly freaked the girl out a little, but oh well. i also probably shouldnt have yelled damn it, but sometimes i think its ok, in that case i think it was appropriate.

i went to target, more specifically i walked to target. for those who understand the boston lay out, i went to the target in roxbury, kinda outside the city, but not to bad of a walk. Roxbury though is not the friendly part of town, so a stroll through it is never boring. What i can never understand is how the rich parts of town always seem to back up to the worst parts. Literally a ten minute walk in one direction means the nicest restaurants in the city, the opposite direction, and getting shot is really not that unthinkable. Funny how that works isn't life is so different for people so close to each other. Both parts of town are entirely unaware of what really goes on in the other part. i think we are all gulity of this on a variety of levels, for me I need to be more aware of the people who are close to me...and stop pretending, like the city of boston does...that roxbury doesn't exist

The yankees

I like the yankees, and they lost. And this saddens me because they are the best team in baseball. If the redsox wiin the world series, im going to jump out of my window. If george fires joe torre i will jump out of my window. If posada quits, i will jump out of my window. If MO leaves the yanks i will jump out of my window. i live on the third floor, and would most likely survive a fall from my window, if i landed in the bushes.... but it would hurt like hell, so i hope i dont have to jump out of my window

my friends

Blogging, quite honestly i like it. i like seeing how my friends are doing, and reading their thoughts. I admit, my writing skills are poor at best, my pre law prof says i should stop writing like i talk and start writing deductively. i told her to spell deductively. she should learn how to spell and then i will learn how to write. my first blog

So i sit here in boston, really happy, and at the same time really restless. I went on campus crusades fall retreat this last weekend, and shared with some people that i really dont enjoy college at the moment, that i miss colorado, and i would prefer to be a lot of other places. I told them this as if it were all apart of a script, something i had said over and over in my mind, something i have convinced my self of.

But that night as i fell asleep i felt absolute joy, because i was surrounded by amazing people who care about me, and i was having an amazing time. Why is that so hard? Why is it hard for me to really love this place, and the people in my life right now? I think what i discovered this weekend, after 5 long years of college is that it really is about how i perceive things. its so simple.

Home has always offered my awesome family and the luxury of comfort. Italy was the feeling of adventure. Colorado, some seriously awesome friends. Boston....i never even gave it chance. And in not giving it a shot, i become this quiet withdrawn dork every time i come here because i see myself as that when i come here.

I think perception is something we edumacated folk take for granted. I think we all have discussed this issue "its all a matter of perspective" not terribly complicated concept to grasp. But just because its easy to grasp doesn't make it easy to apply to life.

Really though...im in this city for only 8 months, and im going to love it, because finally, im giving myself a chance to love it