my friends

Blogging, quite honestly i like it. i like seeing how my friends are doing, and reading their thoughts. I admit, my writing skills are poor at best, my pre law prof says i should stop writing like i talk and start writing deductively. i told her to spell deductively. she should learn how to spell and then i will learn how to write. my first blog

So i sit here in boston, really happy, and at the same time really restless. I went on campus crusades fall retreat this last weekend, and shared with some people that i really dont enjoy college at the moment, that i miss colorado, and i would prefer to be a lot of other places. I told them this as if it were all apart of a script, something i had said over and over in my mind, something i have convinced my self of.

But that night as i fell asleep i felt absolute joy, because i was surrounded by amazing people who care about me, and i was having an amazing time. Why is that so hard? Why is it hard for me to really love this place, and the people in my life right now? I think what i discovered this weekend, after 5 long years of college is that it really is about how i perceive things. its so simple.

Home has always offered my awesome family and the luxury of comfort. Italy was the feeling of adventure. Colorado, some seriously awesome friends. Boston....i never even gave it chance. And in not giving it a shot, i become this quiet withdrawn dork every time i come here because i see myself as that when i come here.

I think perception is something we edumacated folk take for granted. I think we all have discussed this issue "its all a matter of perspective" not terribly complicated concept to grasp. But just because its easy to grasp doesn't make it easy to apply to life.

Really though...im in this city for only 8 months, and im going to love it, because finally, im giving myself a chance to love it